Yes, I know I've been gone for sometime...and I am sorry... I apologize to the 2-3 people who started bugging me about getting back to writing- I still struggle with the whole "if I plan to keep this thing going" question.
So motherhood has predominantly been on my mind lately. Not really the concept of it, or the how to's or the power of the position. Instead, I've just been cherishing my role as mom of the Gibson girls... and I've been learning. I'm continually impressed by the connection I feel to them. I see them as their own people... not little "Kelly robots" but I feel so fundamentally and emotionally connected to each. Yes, this might be obvious to many, but I've been feeling it all... noticing how much I miss them when I'm not with them; wondering what they think about ideas or people when I'm not there to ask; curious as to how they handle specific situations we haven't discussed... so much is left to that "general teaching" concept... we can't get them ready for every situation, but I have to admit it is weird when they actually use ideas we've given them.
One of these that keeps showing up is a lesson Rob and I learned years ago, specifically regarding each other. When the girls are having bad days- for whatever reason- we've talked about how much positive energy is created by simply taking time away from yourself and the bad day, and going out of your way to do something nice for someone else. Usually there is little to do to "fix" the bad day you are having- especially when you are a teenage girl... instead, we've suggested they use the day to help someone else. It is difficult to do, because we tend to be in a highly self-focused place when dark days descend... yet, it fundamentally changes the energy and focus of the day. The girls are continually amazed how well this works.
And still, this is just one lesson... there are so many questions I don't have answers to... so many problems they will encounter that we haven't figured out ourselves- I plan to have a front row seat to watch them and cheer them- help them when they ask, and love every minute of this bizzare job.
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I'll admit, for the longest time I felt really sorry for your girls because they had to see you ALL the TIME. I just couldn't comprehend a mother-daughter relationship that... well... worked. It literally took me until the end of my senior year to recognize that the way you all act towards each other is real. It makes me happy to see that some parents in the world approach it as a job that requires conscious thought about what you've produced, instead of just popping them out because 'that's what you do' and then seething in dislike for the next 18 years.
ReplyDelete(Also, respectfully, bizzare is a word I've never seen! Bizarre? Bazaar? Your whole post makes no sense now.... [= )
Nice post. I'm equally amazed at the connection you feel to the girls, which I simply don't. I really love them and I want to get closer and I even enjoy being around them but I don't check in to their minds and hearts the way you do. In the Doctor's office today, Darby said, I can't believe mom. She's a hundred miles away and yet it's like she's right here. She's talking to me and asking me all these questions and she knows everything that's going on (via text).
ReplyDeleteI'm continually amazed at the connection you feel to the girls. I figure it's pretty common for a mom, and maybe some dads. I'm inspired and awed. Thanks for the great post.