Wow. I've started writing this post 3 times now, but I can't actually get it finished because I keep being interrupted by life. When I began this blogging adventure, I remember thinking I was nuts because I would never actually have time to do it. I was right.
So... since my last post I have: put up Death Takes a Holiday, taken down Death Takes a Holiday, hosted a cast party, run 2 AP Lit. study sessions at my house, survived AP Lit. testing day (there is always a question as to whether or not my heart will hold out), sent Halli off to prom, hosted 3 sets of guests at the house, been to Corvallis to see an old student in a college play, celebrated mother's day with the bestest mama in the world (mine), made an ASTOUNDING meal of white chicken enchiladas, got my grades in for progress reports, been to 5 or 6 of Kobie's softball games, survived the last 4 weeks of being a teacher in RR, and tonight, I'm having a bunch of 8th grade girls over for a sleepover.
Whew.
I'm tired.
This time of year is always insane. I move in a fog as I simply try to keep moving... but now things slow down. Now I look around and realize there are students, kids who are being successful in ways they never thought possible; I see my beautiful family and wonder why they still love me when I'm pretty sure I've forgotten to feed them for the last 2 months (except those amazing enchiladas, of course!); I have these cool friends- who put up with my crap (thank you folks- don't know why you stick around...)- they seem to know I mean well, even when I'm too busy to remember to call, much less spend time with them... and I'm up... I'm down... I'm crying tears of exhaustion that lead to tears of joy... cheesy? Yep. But really, how fricking lucky are we to even be here in the first place? Have you ever thought about it? There were millions of sperm... hundreds to thousands of eggs... the chances of you being you, or me being me... the chance that our mothers managed to not only conceive, but then wanted to have us, and didn't fall down, or get sick, or whatever... we've all won the cosmic lottery... billions of chances to one that you and I are here. That we are us... how amazingly lucky we are... how honored we should feel to feel the joy and pain of life- when so many didn't make it this far. We get to feel- to love... to fight... to cry... we get to BE.
Don't give up on it- or on anyone around you- we are too few- too unique to lose.
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I like that you've talked about how precious and rare our lives our. In Buddhism the chance of attaining a human birth is something like: after placing a single floatation device (the small ring type) on the ocean, and a blind turtle rising from within the depths of the water and poking his head through the ring...Of course this doesn't bode well with those more comfortable with a "helping hand" when it comes to creation, but even then, with all the billions and billions of life-forms that can be found in just a few feet of soil, isn't it astounding that God would have given each of us a human body and mind to inhabit. It really is an amazing thing to consider. Thank you. P.S. Since many of your blogs open with being overwhelmingly busy, I wonder if it isn't time for you to find a meditation group????(hahahah).
ReplyDeleteMy "meditation group" consists of Kim and I walking circles around the track... we just needed the rain to subside...
ReplyDeleteI like the analogy of the turtle- do they have turtles in Tibet? Why is it important for the turtle to be blind? Are there many blind turtles? These are the questions that keep me awake at night...